I got my hug.
I was at the library today. It was crazy busy. Not only were the crying babies and A.D.D. tweens out in abundance, but the computers kept freezing, and I had 4 days of emails to sort through, most of which were about meetings I needed to attend, powerpoints or flyers or posters I needed to make, deadlines I needed to be aware of, etc. Eeeek!
So I'm wading through all of this while trying to be patient librarian-lady with the children camped out on all six of the computers, playing some sort of make-your-own-movie-star game where they could chat with each other from their different screens if they used a password and username (I swear that's what was making most of the computers crash, but whatever). And one of the girls - I've seen her in here before but I can't remember her name, and I know I didn't do anything particularly helpful or nice for her today - just walks up to the desk where I'm sitting, squinting at an email like I do sometimes when I get tunnel vision, and she grabs me into a sideways hug.
"I love you, Miss Grace," she says, and I am surprised, and touched, and at a loss for words. Finally I manage a sunny (if befuddled), "Did you have fun today?" and when she nods I add, "I'm glad." And with that she leaves, and I turn back to my email, but I don't really "turn back to my email." Because my eyes are on the screen but my mind is still on the hug.
I think about yesterday, and that big, ugly, angry, sad, confusing lava of loneliness roiling inside of me, erupting out in the form of that blog post. Like a wish. Well, today it came back to me, transformed into something beautiful, totally unexpected and unearned.
Remember, children - no, actually, remember, adults; the children seem to have no problem with this - WISHES COME TRUE. Sometimes. And sometimes is enough.